The Amazing Race: Conakry Edition

  I may have been disappointed to find out this past year that I am not eligible to participate in "The Amazing Race" (as seen on television) because I am not an American citizen, but here in Conakry, there are no ethnicity barriers.  I jumped at the chance to participate in this much-loved competition, and along with two other bouncy, spirited friends (Chrissy and Marije), formed team "All for one and one for all!"
  Bright and early on Saturday morning, the three musketeers were ready for the battle, facing 15 of the fiercest armies of the Africa Mercy.  The horn blared at the starting line, and we were off - sprinting until we got around the corner from the Africa Mercy dock compound.   No longer within sight of the onlookers, our pace slowed and we were left in the dust by many teams.  We didn't realize it at the time, but each team was given their clues in different orders to try to avoid a bottle neck at one station.  Armed with a cellphone, and a translator at the other end of the line, we found ourselves an unofficial taxi driver and our translator negotiated a price transportation for the whole race (5 hours).  Welcome to the team taxi-driver Tulamond.

Clue # 1

Go to the beach next to Obama Bar and find crew member/day worker in bright yellow cap

Challenge:  

Enter a traditional wood canoe and paddle to the buoy and back to receive the next clue

   Well, easier said than done.  This canoe was very tippy (oh, Tippy) and had no stability.  From the moment we were pushed off into the waves, we constantly had to use every muscle in our bodies to keep the canoe steady and upright.  Also not helping the balancing act was the unequal steering power.  With two people paddling on one side, and another person on the other side, the paddle power was not equally distributed, and I spent most of the journey with my oar acting as a rudder to counter the direction that we were moving.  We briefly experimented with the idea that the third person could alternate strokes on either side of the canoe, but that disturbed the balance of the canoe too much.  We prayed that we wouldn't die, and sang as we oared.  Fishing boats passed by to see quite a spectacle of 3 white girls barely keeping their canoe upright, while nearly in the middle of boat traffic going in and out of the bay.  We never flipped.  So glad.  Throughout the day, some less fortunate teams did flip into the latrine of the sea that is the coastal waters.

Clue # 2

Go to Imperial market and find crew member/day worker in bright yellow cap

Challenge:

Learn to shine shoes from a local lad.  Take your newly learned skill and polish three people's shoes for 500 guinea francs each.  Bring the money back to the yellow-capped man.  Then count all of the beans in the jar.

  I like shining shoes.  There are many shoe shiners in Guinea, so there must be a large clientele, but finding shoes to shine proved to be a difficult task.  We were able to shine our taxi driver's shoes and he payed us the whole 1500 francs needed for 3 shoe shines.  Hehe.  Bean counting - tedious, but this is my specialty.  Chrissy and I counted out piles of 10, while Marije combined these into 100's and kept a running tally.  We had to shield our tally from Fred's team who hung around for their turn just a little too close.  I do not remember the final number that we came up with, but when the man in the yellow hat saw our written number, he placed a check-mark beside it and handed us our next clue.  Hopped into the car and off we went.

Clue # 3

Go back to Obama bar and and find the crew member/day worker in bright yellow cap inside the restaurant

Challenge:

Walk on the rocks out to the lighthouse (low tide) and spend 8 minutes drawing a picture of your team in front of the lighthouse.  The best picture wins a prize.

  Ok, so this challenge wasn't really about speed, because you had to take 8 minutes to complete the drawing.  We could only move so fast on the uneven, algae-coated, barnacle-encrusted rocks, cause we didn't feel like twisting our ankles quite so early on in this race.

After trecking on the sea-floor in the baking sun, we grabbed cokes at Obama bar, and picked up one for Tulamond to keep him happy and hydrated.  Onto the next adventure.

Clue # 4

Go to Niger Market and find the crew member/day worker in bright yellow cap (wandering target)

  Well, there was no challenge to be handed out, as finding this guy was an extreme challenge in itself.  The main food section of Niger market is centered around a large storehouse-type of building overflowing with produce, people, meat, and seamstresses on the mezzanine level up above.  Outside, snake single file between the vendors selling foodstuffs of all sort under faded umbrellas.  Crowds, noises, aromas - not for the faint of heart or claustrophobic.  I think I see a yellow hat!  I budge my way between two vendors and run full-speed towards a yellow-hated guy fixing a motor bike.  "Mercy Ships?" I sheepishly mumble.  The men around him stare at us as if we have lost a few marbles.  This is not our guy.  Back inside.  After about half an hour of searching high and low and all around, I was about ready to give up.  It seemed nearly impossible to find this person, and I didn't want Tulamond to get impatient.  Back outside, walking around the perimeter.  A man in a maroon shirt, yellow hat, and orange "JanSport" backpack on his front walks up just behind me.  I turn to look, and doubt that this could be him as his cap wasn't bright enough.  But I tried anyway, "Mercy Ships?"  The man had a straight face, what was he thinking?  His face burst into a huge grin "Congratulations" he said, and handed us our next clue.  We leaped for joy and gave him a hug of excitement.  He must have been following us for a while.  Off to the next destination!

 Ate snacks from our backpack.   Gave Tulamond an apple to stay happy.

Clue # 5

Go to the Mercy Ships Dental Clinic and find the crew member/day worker in bright yellow cap

Challenge:

Two creatures will be released from a box, and you must get these creatures back inside the box.  Wear yellow utility gloves as protective equipment, and wear a latex glove on your head to attract the creatures.

The dental clinic is part of a closed off courtyard and that suited this challenge quite well.  The creatures released were two chickens.  Birdies!!!   We dove upon them and they scattered.  Squawk!  One bird at a time.  I tried to run directly at it, but it was too fast and unpredictable.  Ok, new tactic.  We tried to approach it from three different directions.  It still got away, running around the courtyard.  Squawk!  Sounded a little scarred this time.  Next, Marije and I chased it over to the shrubs along the path.  Into the hedge it went.  Marije on one side, I on the other.  We had it trapped.  It tried to dodge it's way through the foliage, but I caught him.  Squaaaaaaaaaawk!  I'd never picked up a chicken, but it was quite enjoyable.  Since leaving Canada 2 months ago, I havn't been able to touch any animal as we have been warned that they are wild and not friendly.  I so miss picking up Tippy and hauling her around, so getting a hold of that bird was wonderful.  Animals yay!!!!  Who cares if it is a chicken, I need a pet.  Squaaaaaaawk!  Placing this squeaking animal in it's box, I have flashbacks of catching and containing Toby...  Marije caught the second bird, although I was super eager to catch myself another friend.  (Looks like all the practice catching Toby payed off!)  I did feel sorry for the poor guys.  During the day, they would be realeased and caught 15 times.  Squawk!  Animal cruelty.  They were bought for they soul purpose of playing in the amazing race, and afterwards, they likely would become dinner.  Oh well, if I had been chased around all day by giants, I might be relieved to end up as dinner.

Clue # 6

Go to the Hope Center and find a crew member/day worker in bright yellow cap

Challenge:  

Peel yam, sweet potato, and plantain, and mash using traditional wooden mortar and pestle to make an African dish.  Eat.

  This was relatively self-explanatory.  Picked up Chrissy's day-worker friend from the Hope Centre and had him tag along for the ride (a translator in person is even better than translator by phone.)  Fred's team arrived again.  Quick!  We must away!

Clue # 7

Go to Leader Price food store and fine the crew member/day worker in bright yellow cap

Challenge: 

Write a song/rap expressing your experiences and feelings about the race so far.  Must be two minutes long.  Will be video-taped.

  We have to use our brains?  I think they may have been scrambled as I squawked after my foul friends.  We listed off ideas and key things we had done so far - then Chrissy took over and begun to spout off lines that rhymed, no matter if they made sense.  Time to go to camera.  Only just over one minute of rap and then we were stuck repeating our song, and talking to the camera about random details so as to acquire our two minutes of footage.  This clip will be shown at some point as part of an Amazing Race montage, and I am not looking forward to it.

Clue # 8

Go to the gardens near the People's Palace, to the playground and find the crew member/day worker in bright yellow cap

Oh no!  Fred's team is in the cab right behind us!  At the park gate, both of our teams jump out of our cars and across the park, searching behind swings and slides for our yellow-capped man.  "Alice!"  Marije hollers "he's over here!"  I change my direction and sprint as fast as I can to join with the rest of them.  Fred and one of his teammates have already reached the man, but Courtney, his third teammate is running in the pack with us girls.  "Hurry!"  I squeal, "If we all get to the yellow hat before Courtney, then we will get the challenge first!  Four girls, all determined to reach the target first.  It felt like a slow-motion Chariots of Fire scene as we expended every last morsel of energy we had left in us.  But to no avail.  Courtney reached the yellow-hat man one step ahead of us.  Fred's team got to take on the challenge first, putting them in front of us.  Nooooooo!!!!!

Marije was not happy.

Challenge:  

Play a match of soccer against a team of three young boys until you score three points

  By the time we got to this challenge, most teams had already come and gone.  The boys had played hard, and were now quite tired.  Scoring three goals against their team was not at all difficult, and we were up and running in no time.

Clue # 9

Go to the Hope Center and find the crew member/day worker in bright yellow cap.  Make sure to pick up the supplies that you will need: matches, paper and wood.

Challenge:

Using your supplies, build a fire big enough and hot enough to burn through the string (stretched over the designated fire pit).

  Marije was right on it.  She is a pro fire builder I guess.  Kindling, paper, wood.  Chrissy couldn't get the match lit.  The kids from the Hope Center gathered around to offer support to light our match.  The flame began as a flicker, and grew bigger.  More paper and wood.  I was concerned we'd smother the fire, but it grew till it burnt through the string.  Melody, one of our fierce opponents had just arrived with her team.  Unaware up until now that she needed to bring fire supplies, she wasted no time in attempting to steal a flame from our blaze.  Marije would not let our victory be used to our opponent's advantage, and began wildly stomping at the blaze until it had been completely suffocated.  Ha!  No fire for you Melody!  Back into the car which Tulamond had readied with engine running and doors opened.

Clue # 10

Go to the patient meeting area

Challenge:  Drink two cups of the mixture containing: sardines, balsamic vinagar, peanut butter, garlic, tuna, and milk

  I had said from the start of our Amazing Race planning that if there was to be a food/drink challenge, that I would like to be excluded.  Both Marije and Chrissy took one for the team and each downed a cup of that foul beverage.  They managed to keep the contents of their stomach within their stomachs - but some teams were not so lucky.

Last Clue: 

Congratulations, you are almost there, the finish line is at the Riviera Hotel.

Our date with Tulamond was drawing to an end.  We counted out his money, and began cheering his name, and thanking him for being such a fine driver (although we almost hit something once or twice.  At the Riviera, we hopped out, paid, said our goodbyes, and ran to through the lobby and out to the pool where the other finished teams gathered.  There was no finish line per se, but we were welcomed just the same.  We finished 9th out of 15 teams.  We had so much fun just the same.  What a great way to tour Conakry!

The pool was available for us to cool off, but I was soon off back to the ship to say goodbyes to more friends leaving.

P.S. - I do not know who won the lighthouse-drawing contest or rap contest.


I will never be in the "Amazing Race", but I survived the Amazing Race Conakry!